All of our interpersonal relationships are a crucible for Buddhist practice
  • Tricycle Community 11 comments

    Tuning the Mind Paid Member

    When I look at relationships, my own and others, I see a whole range of reasons we get together and ways we interact. Some are transactional, but the deeper impulse of every human relationship is to evoke the love and oneness that unites us. But what actually happens is that many relationships reinforce our separateness because of our misperception of ourselves as separate beings, and because of our desire systems, which are based in separateness or ego. Relationships only work in a spiritual sense when you and I really see that we are one.  More »
  • Tricycle Community 95 comments

    Sex in the Sangha . . . Again Paid Member

    In Buddhism’s relatively short history in the West, there have been so many scandals—sudden scandals and gradual scandals, scandals of all shapes and sizes—that it might not be long before someone decides to write that history not as a noble narrative of high aspiration but as a series of depressingly lowbrow misadventures. Whether they are about money, sex, power, substance abuse, or, as is most often the case, some combination of them all, one thing seems to be clear: while isolation is a symptom of scandals, scandals are not isolated events. More »
  • Tricycle Community 7 comments

    Okay As It Is, Okay As You Are Paid Member

    I grew up in Middletown, a midsize suburban town in the middle of New Jersey. (What it lacks in originality it makes up for in aptness of name.) Throughout my childhood I thought of it as one of many suburban towns that are the Wonder Bread of American society: plain, boring, and (mostly) white.  I’ve heard it said that suburbia is a cradle of unimagined secrets. Still, when Tricycle came across Merle Kodo Boyd, founder of the Lincroft Zen Sangha in Middletown, New Jersey, I was shocked. I had spent 18 years of my life there, never knowing that a committed sitting group was less than 10 minutes from my home.  More »
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    Five Ways to Renew an Old Love Paid Member

    Over at UC Berkeley's website Greater Good, psychologist, author, and Buddhist Barabara Fredrickson offers us five ways to renew the feeling of love. Fredrickson explains that the feeling of love, like any emotion, is fleeting—she herself was surprised just how fleeting it proved to be as her scientific research progressed. "The good news," Fredrickson shares, "is that love is a renewable resource." In the brief article she lists a number of ways we can continuously re-cultivate love. By learning to generate love at a moments notice, we can create stronger, lasting bonds with our loved ones, or at least get through Valentine's Day...   Read the article here. More »
  • Tricycle Community 8 comments

    The Power of Forgiveness Paid Member

    Forgiveness is not simple. When we have been harmed, hurt, betrayed, abandoned, or abused, forgiveness can often seem to be out of the question. And yet, unless we find some way to forgive, we will hold that hatred and fear in our hearts forever. Imagine what the world would be like without forgiveness. Imagine what it would be like if every one of us carried every single hurt, every single resentment, all the anger that came up, when we felt betrayed. If we just kept that in our hearts and never let it go, it would be unbearable. Without forgiveness, we’re forced to carry the sufferings of the past. As Jack Kornfield says, “Forgiveness is giving up all hope of a better past.” In that sense, forgiveness is really not about someone’s harmful behavior; it’s about our own relationship with our past. More »
  • Tricycle Community 3 comments

    May I Be Happy Paid Member

    Walking along the Rhine River during my lunch break from teaching yoga in Basel, Switzerland, I felt mellow and full of gratitude to have such a wonderful job opportunity. Then my phone started to vibrate. Instantly my mood shifted, and a powerful sense of urgency took hold of me. It was like a Rube Goldberg chain reaction—I was balancing a cappuccino in one hand, fighting an uncooperative purse zipper with the other, trying to keep my glasses on my nose, and worrying that someone was calling from my mother’s nursing home. More »