Sex can show us a lot about ourselves. Why am I about to have sex? We should be totally honest with ourselves.
Wilmington, North Carolina
artist, cook, musician, Zen student
Don’t get caught clinging.
I wonder if some of the bad rap sex has acquired in Buddhism derives from the influence of asceticism. Sometimes it’s easier to dismiss all sex, all pleasure, than to sort out what constitutes too much attachment, too much suffering.
Carrboro, North Carolina
Sex is an art form, a spiritual expression. I want to be a Buddhist and a lover.
After becoming disillusioned with romance and goal-directed sex, I spent three contented years in celibacy. A few years later, I am happily married. There is surprisingly little difference!
What is there to say about sex? Sex is great. It’s sex. Sex is better if the person isn’t evil…but who really knows? What’s evil? There is this vulnerability because when we have sex we’re close to everything we spend a lot of time thinking we can run away from. I think. And sex is no big deal.
As a Buddhist, I aim to practice the middle path—a direct exploration of sex that is neither heedless indulgence nor unconscious repression.
San Francisco, California
dharma and sexuality teacher