Relationships

All of our interpersonal relationships are a crucible for Buddhist practice
  • Tricycle Community 6 comments

    Sexual Misconduct Paid Member

    Author Nancy Baker is currently leading a Tricycle community discussion about sexual misconduct and the third Zen precept. You can join the discussion here. More »
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    Giving Through Relationships Paid Member

    From Chapter 13 of past Tricycle Retreat leader Ezra Bayda’s new book, Beyond Happiness, The Zen Way to True Contentment: We often look to relationships as a source of our personal happiness. Our relationships with our partners, friends, and family can certainly be enjoyable, and they enrich many dimensions of living. However, much of our unhappiness in life also comes from relationships; and strangely, even though relationships play a huge role in our lives, we are often very much in the dark when it comes to knowing why so much unhappiness is associated with them. Nor do we have a clear idea what to do about it. More »
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    Cooling Emotional Fires Paid Member

    The destructive effects of anger are easily recognized. When even mild annoyance arises, it can quickly grow and overwhelm us. Inner peace is lost. If we look at how anger arises, we see that it usually happens when we feel unheard, unseen, or unfairly treated. If in that moment we look within, we may sense a feeling that anger can help us get even with the offending person or change the vexing situation. So the anger that arises can seem to have value, but in reality it cannot. There might be some logic to responding with anger if it could negate the offense that has taken place, but that cannot happen because the deed has already occurred. So anger cannot reduce or prevent the perceived wrong. More »
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    A Cheerful "Good Morning" Paid Member

    How many people wake up in the morning to hail their families with a cheerful “Good morning”? This may seem like a little thing, but the person who is unaccustomed to greeting others will find it hard to get that simple salutation out of her mouth. “I’ll be laughed at,” such a person thinks, and she crawls right back into her hard shell of self-absorption. Even a simple hello will not come naturally without the right opportunity. The only way to get around this kind of mental block is to act instead of fretting over what to do. Give a greeting once. Then try to give greetings several times in succession. Then try for a week and then for a month. In time, you will sense a subtle change in the people around you. Given more time, you will suddenly awaken to the change that has taken place within you. Your heart and mind will be released from the rigid controls that kept you locked within yourself for so long. More »
  • Focusing: An interview with Eugene Gendlin Paid Member

    In the current issue of Tricycle, Eugene Gendlin, founder of an innovative self-actualization technique called Focusing, is interviewed by Linda Heuman. In her introduction to the interview, Heuman writes about the difficulty she had grasping exactly what Gendlin meant when he responded to her questions. More »
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    Introduction to Focusing Paid Member

    Most people find it easier to learn Focusing through individual instruction than through simply reading about it. The actual process of Focusing, experienced from the inside, is fluid and open, allowing great room for individual differences and ways of working. Yet to introduce the concepts and flavor of the technique, some structure can be useful for those who have not found a certified trainer. Although these steps may provide a window into Focusing, it is important to remember that they are not the only six steps. Focusing has no rigid, fixed agenda for the inner world; many Focusing sessions bear little resemblance to the mechanical process that we define here. Still, every Focusing trainer is deeply familiar with the six steps listed below, and uses them as needed throughout a Focusing session. And many people have had success getting in touch with the heart of the process just by following these simple instructions. More »