Relationships

All of our interpersonal relationships are a crucible for Buddhist practice
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    Who Are You? Paid Member

    Who are you? My name is Peter. If you went to Nicaragua, you'd be called Pedro. Are Pedro and Peter one person or two? One, because I am only who I am. Are you a name? No, of course not. Then who are you? I am a man. You mean you are not a woman? No. I mean that I am a man. But you are only a man because you are not a woman. Who are you? I am an Englishman. If you went to Japan, would you be a Japanese man? No. Why? Because I was born in England and I speak English. If you had been born in England but raised in China, would you be Chinese or English? I would be English. More »
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    How Important is Faith? Paid Member

    IN PALI (THE LANGUAGE OF THE ORIGINAL BUDDHIST TEXTS), the word for faith is saddha. While sometimes translated as "confidence" or "trust," the literal meaning of saddha is "to place your heart upon." When we give our hearts over to a spiritual practice, it is a sign of faith or confidence in that practice. Faith opens us to what is beyond our usual, limited, self-centered concerns. In the Buddhist psychology, it is called the gateway to all good things, because faith sparks our initial inspiration to practice meditation, and also sustains our ongoing efforts. More »
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    Where is Buddha? Paid Member

    IN MY OFFICE THERE IS A SCROLL with Japanese calligraphy and a painting of Zen master Bodhidharma. Bodhidharma is a fat, grumpy-looking man with bushy eyebrows. He looks as if he has indigestion.  The calligraphy reads, "Pointing directly at your own heart, you find Buddha. " More »
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    Tommy's Corner Paid Member

  • The Art of Undermining your Significant Other Paid Member

    One of America’s most under-appreciated talents is the sheer genius of its married and unmarried couples in using the language and insights of therapy to destroy their relationships. Decades ago, when psychoanalysis was all the rage, husbands and wives found that throwing a few Freudian insights into their arguments gave both an air of authority to their dismissive judgments of each other and a death-dealing blow to the survival of a healthy relationship. If your parents knew any Freudian jargon, you may remember exchanges like this: More »
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    Tuning the Mind Paid Member

    When I look at relationships, my own and others, I see a whole range of reasons we get together and ways we interact. Some are transactional, but the deeper impulse of every human relationship is to evoke the love and oneness that unites us. But what actually happens is that many relationships reinforce our separateness because of our misperception of ourselves as separate beings, and because of our desire systems, which are based in separateness or ego. Relationships only work in a spiritual sense when you and I really see that we are one.  More »