Leaning into Rawness

A psychotherapist discusses addiction.Trudy Walter

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Part of Tricycle's Fall 1996 Special Section on Buddhism & Psychedelics.
Click here to return to the Buddhism & Psychedelics table of contents.


Ken's Flames, Roberto Diaz 1990I used to love getting stoned. I especially loved to get stoned and read dharma. When stoned I was never bored: Every single piece of my world was reliably fascinating. My curiosity and delight with any- and everybody was palpable. I could read the newspaper and not have my blood curdle. Trees would twinkle and wave especially at me. It felt as if the miracle of my life was familiar and accessible again: Here I was once again in this cozy space. I got so into the addiction that I could hardly go for a walk without getting buzzed. Almost every high brought that tremendous feeling of contact—that feeling of being a part of every crack in the sidewalk, every mosquito trying to make its way in the world. Exhaustion was buoyed and did not weigh so heavily.

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