Gossip Boy

Alix Sharkey

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“The only thing worse than being talked about,” said Oscar Wilde, “is not being talked about.”


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I love gossip. I love to hear it, I love to spread it, and most of all I love to be its subject, target, and victim. In fact, I actively cultivate and disseminate disinformation about myself and others, especially when I find myself in the confines of a retreat, which is to gossip what a Petri dish is to bacteria. Because when it comes to the sterile lab work of the mind, there’s nothing more exciting than an uncontrolled experiment using live cultures. The way I look at it? If people are so bored that they’re talking about me in the first place, I’d much rather they unwittingly spread half-truths and distortions than repeat a dull litany of trivia and plodding, indisputable facts.

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