Relationships

All of our interpersonal relationships are a crucible for Buddhist practice
  • A Big Gay History of Same-sex Marriage in the Sangha Paid Member

    Buddhist same-sex marriage was born in the USA. That’s a little known but significant fact to reflect on now, just after the Supreme Court has declared legal marriage equality throughout the country. Appropriately enough, it all started in San Francisco, and was conceived as an act of love, not activism. The first known Buddhist same-sex marriages took place in the early 1970s, at the Buddhist Church of San Francisco. Founded in 1899, it’s the oldest surviving temple in the mainland United States. It’s also part of the oldest Buddhist organization outside Hawaii: the Buddhist Churches of America (BCA), part of the Shin tradition of Pure Land Buddhism. More »
  • Legislating Love Paid Member

    In celebration of the historic Supreme Court decision ruling that the Constitution gaurantees a right to same-sex marriage, we present this article, originally published as a Web Exclusive in 2008, about the passing of Proposition 8 in California. We've come a long way in a few short years. —Eds. More »
  • How to Fail Paid Member

    If there is one skill that is not stressed very much, but is really needed, it is knowing how to fail. There is a Samuel Beckett quote that goes “Try again. Fail again. Fail better.” That quote is what will help you more than anything else in the next year, the next ten years, the next twenty years, for as long as you live, until you drop dead. There is a lot of emphasis on succeeding. We all want to succeed, especially if we consider success to be things working out the way we want them to. Failing is what we don't usually get a lot of preparation for. So how to fail? More »
  • No Need for Words Paid Member

    Several weeks ago, in the middle of having his diaper changed, my son peered up at me and spoke his first two-syllable word: butter. My husband Kort still asleep in bed, I wondered whether the boy had uttered the brief sound or my imagination had merely conjured it. Standard early-morning mental fuzz could not account for this self-doubt; it sprang from a deep longing, ever since the day of my son’s birth, for him to speak in familiar language. More »
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    Where Are You Trying to Get? Paid Member

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    Overcoming Spiritual Bypassing Paid Member

    Buddhist psychologist John Welwood coined the phrase “spiritual bypassing” to describe a common tendency to use spiritual teachings as a means to avoid, rather than engage fully with, our human relationships and experience. In this online retreat, senior Shambhala teacher Ethan Nichtern will explore Buddhist teachings on relationships, emptiness, and compassion in the context of a bodhisattva path that leads us directly into the details of worldly life, with all its struggles and insights. You can join Ethan Nichtern in person on May 28th for the next installment of our ongoing "What's Enough?" series. Get tickets here. More »