What led you to Buddhism?
I would like to hear from community members about what it was that led you to become interested in and/or begin practicing Buddhism.
I know one man who, after a lifetime of being an "overachiever"—getting straight A's throughout his school years and graduating from an Ivy League university at the top of his class—had a full psychological and existential breakdown, feeling that all the knowledge and skill he had gained was useless because, at a very fundamental level, he didn't even know who or what he was. When he began to study dharma and practice meditation he saw that, "there are some things you just can't learn in school."
I know a woman who once believed that she had nothing to offer anyone but her beauty. She became a successful model but in the process began a long struggle with drug addiction. In the throes of depression and thoughts of suicide, she sought guidance from a Buddhist teacher and, after receiving much instruction, saw for the first time that her life didn't have to be about herself. She said, "Waking up, for the first time, to the reality that I am able to care for and help others was what saved my life."
I know a guy who ate LSD and "saw infinity." Then, when he saw the Buddhist symbol known as the "knot of eternity" he thought, they must know. He sought out a Tibetan Buddhist Sangha to "learn the secrets" and while he didn't gain the mind-blowing metaphysical knowledge that he expected, he did begin practicing meditation and striving to cultivate wisdom and compassion. Regarding his quest for infinity, that last I heard him say about this was, "My discursive mind is infinite enough."
I've read letters from people who practice Buddhism in prison, and have always found it both inspiring and heart-breaking to hear from people who are on the path in such circumstances. I recall reading one letter from a woman that was the saddest story I have ever heard. After a lifetime of unspeakable suffering and tragedy, she had been sentenced just after seeing her boyfriend killed. Yet, this letter ended along the lines of "What else am I going to do while I'm here? I've got to deal with this stuff one way or another." After reading everything this woman had lived through, that she was turning to meditation and requesting reading materials to support her practice was astounding to me. While reading this month's Tricycle Book Club selection The Heart of the Revolution by teacher and author Noah Levine, I was struck my Noah's recollection of practicing while locked up:
While in jail for my third felony arrest at a young age, at my father's suggestion I began to meditate. That practice gave me the determination and strength to stop taking drugs and drinking. I turned my attention inward and began the process of healing—a process that continues to this day.
Also, in contrast to the people I have mentioned so far, I think it is important to mention that not everybody arrives at the Buddhist path because of some difficult or extraordinary circumstance. It seems that for some, it just happens, no existential dilemma and tragedy needed. I am reminded of this passage by the late great American Zen teacher Charlotte Joko Beck from her interview, "Life's Not a Problem":
I had a fine life. I was divorced—my husband was mentally ill—but I had a nice man in my life. My kids were okay. I had a good job. And I used to wake up and say, “Is this all there is?”
Then I met Maezumi Roshi, who was a monk at the time. He was giving a talk in the Unitarian Church downtown. I was out for the evening with a friend, a woman, a sort of hard-boiled business type, and we decided to hear his talk. And as we went in, he bowed to each person and looked right at us. It was absolutely direct contact. When we sat down, my friend said to me, “What was that?” He wasn’t doing anything special—except, for once, somebody was paying attention.
I wanted whatever he had.
Please feel free to share your own stories! Is there anyone above that you most identify with? What was it for you? As we work with the present and try to build a better future, there is much that can be learned from examining our past.
best,
Monty McKeever
Tricycle
for me it was the book 'zen mind, beginners mind' by shunryu suzuki. after reading it i started meditating every day and meditation helped me in a lot. then i took refuge vows and have not ever looked back.
Thanks for sharing Melbourne77. "Zen Mind, Beginner's Mind" is a great book.
for me it was back in 1950 when i joined the ymca and played judo.thats when i got interested in all the japanese arts like zen,tao, and meditation,ect,ect.
I was raised in mostly Christian environment (Utah) that never embraced me because I was non-Mormon. When I turned twenty I started looking at different religious and philosophical beliefs to find where I fit. After reading numerous articles on different faiths, dogmas, doctrines and beliefs I picked up "Awakening the Buddha Within", that single book set me on my current path.
My wife, who was raised in the Mormon faith has started reading the book lately and our children have been raised knowing about Buddha and who he was. This has caused issues with her family as well as mine.
Since finding my path and embracing it I have had a direction and a center to my life that I never had as a child. This is something my wife has noticed, since we began dating around the time I read "Awakening the Buddha Within".
My family now understands why I follow the path and also have seen the change in me since the beginning of my path.
Thank you for contributing bbbaker16. It must be a challenge when family is less than accepting.
I haven't read "Awakening the Buddha Within" but I will give it a look. I think we have a copy in the office somewhere (one of the perks of working for Tricycle, LOTS of great books in the office, maybe too many...).
best to you and your family!
Monty
I very much relate to your words. I was actually raised Mormon. I fell away from the church early and returned when I got married. After years of struggling with the teachings I was reminded why I left in the first place. Too many questions, too few answers. Both my husband at the time, and I, stopped attending and started very vigorously searching for truth, in whatever form that took. What a journey it has been.
So, last year...I too was opened to the path through the help of Lama Surya Das Book. It is really great for the beginner. It was given to me, along with Jack Kornfield's Beginner's Guide to Meditation cd's, by a fellow path follower. I always knew she was kindred, her light shown bright and I needed to know how to let that light shine too. I am grateful every day to finally be home. I struggled for so long spiritually with so many unanswered questions wandering a very lonely road. Now I am joyous to know I have the teachings we all need and can have to live with joy and peace. I am so thrilled every day to learn more about the Dharma and in turn practice it.
I know of the struggles you have faced, as well, with family and loved ones. I delight in knowing that through me the path may be shown to them and others as well.
Blessings to you my friend,
Pamela
Thank you so much for sharing. I also identify with family not understanding my choice to practice Buddhism. I grew up Catholic.
For me, Buddhism began in college as part of a global exploration of religion. I had been raised in an environment where it was a sin to attend even a Christian church that wasn't Catholic. I had married the first man I slept with, feeling that I had no choice in the matter. Seven years later, he became addicted to cocaine and physically violent and my friends (with me under protest at the time) convinced me to leave. After a year and a half of grueling court proceedings (my ex kept failing to cooperate) the divorce was final.
I was so confused and all I wanted to do was consult a priest. Unfortunately, these events took place during holy week, so I was passed off seven different times. Taking it as a sign that I would never get holy counsel, (seven is the biblical number for infinity), I sought other methods of comfort. Mediation got me through those tough years and I found my practice heavily influenced by Taoist and Buddhist teachings. My family was okay with this arrangement, vocalizing often their fervent belief that my interest in Buddhism was "just a phase" and that I would "one day return to the church."
Four years after my "liberation" from my ex, I crossed paths with a friend from high school. We fell in love. The only problem: he's an atheist. He quickly took interest in my meditation practices and wanted to learn more about Buddhism. He, too, felt a great deal of joy with the practice saying, "THIS is what I have always believed. I just didn't know it had a name."
When we announced our engagement, my family wanted me to get an annulment (a Catholic practice of dissolving a past marriage in the eyes of the church). I refused. This was the first tear in what has become a great rift in our family.
Two months ago, my beloved and I exchanged Buddhist vows at our wedding. When we returned from our honeymoon, we received a letter from my father. "Our belief systems are such that we can no longer conduct a meaningful relationship," he wrote. My mother, brother, and sister-in-law have also decided to sever ties.
It's a pain that is so deep, so profound, that I have trouble comprehending why circumstances are what they are. It even threw me into such a stark depression that my husband took me to the hospital because I was suicidal. I've been practicing metta on myself every day, and the pain is starting to subside.
My mother once said, (ironically in a feign attempt to lure me back to the church) "faith is what gets you through the hard times." If that's true, than Buddhism is my true home.
Thank you for allowing me to post such a long response. I'm in a small town and it means so much to have this virtual sangha. Love and peace to all!
I understand the pain you are feeling. I too severed from the Catholic Church - or shall I say - was severed - for a lifestyle choice. The very religious leaders I went to for guidance dismissed me at a crucial time in my life. I had spent 12 years in Catholic schools and was truly indoctrinated. I was saddened to know I was so easily cast aide by what I had once believed in. The gap between Catholic teachings and Catholic practice is great. I found Buddhism in my most painful time. I have struggled with anger at the Church and through Buddhist practice, I have learned how to soften that anger so I do not harm myself or allow it to take away the beautiful things of my life. I too have found a true home. Thank you for sharing. You have helped me too! Ktc
Thanks for sharing that. Your story resonated with me on a personal level. It also made me send a copy of a Buddhist text to me dear atheist friend. You have swapped your Catholic kindred, albeit only temporarily, for the sangha of the world. We are here, compassionate, and very appreciative of you.
This comment definitely hit me. Like you, I was also born Catholic. Also like you, my family tried to convince me in ways such as "a family that prays together, stays together". Also like you, it caused an immediate rift in the family - quite large infact. Luckily, we were both able to see the world wasn't going to crumble, and everything was ok. We grew closer, and are pretty close now.
I'm wondering if you and your family was able to close the rift some way.
Thanks so much for your story. It must have been incredibly difficult when your family told you they could no longer be in relationship with you because of beliefs. I'm glad you have found a practice that is beneficial.
Buddhism is spreading in the US; there's even a temple in the small city I live in in the Midwest. It's a small temple, however, so having this group is great.
With Metta
That was obviously very difficult. I am so sorry
I can relate - I was raised SDA and just never felt connected. My parents were English teachers in Manado Indonesia. There wasn't much there and at the time we were there foreigners were a bit of an oddity. There was a small Buddhist temple in the city however and sometimes(unknown to my dad) my mother would take me there where she started to teach me there were other paths that could be followed. In a very dirty, often volitile place where people were quick to kill each other over the smallest religious differences, this one place was my little girl's
paradise. It was quiet and clean and the moost beautiful place in the world to me - I thought "god is here".
Later as an adult it was this memory that moved me to start reading and seeking out buddhism and its teachings. I wandered away several times but always found myself walking a path back.
@Anonymous post author
What led *you* to Buddhism?
My name should have appeared under the title. It would seem a glitch occurred... I just added it in at the end of the post instead. Thanks for pointing this out.
Regarding what led me to Buddhism, I was raised in a Buddhist family so really can't say where it exactly started for me. That said, I definitely felt different ways about Buddhism at different times while growing up, ranging from intense devotion to utter disinterest. In the end it was a combination of "taking a step back" from my tradition and studying Dharma on my own terms, as well as the guidance of some great teachers that "sealed the deal" so to speak.
What about you?
Profound discontent and unhappiness in my teens. Raised in a marginally Christian family Catholic/Protestant. Any god that would allow "his children" to feel as bad as I did then though wasn't one I could follow. I started to look for answers to that situation. Then I read Taboo Against Knowing Who You Are By Alan Watts at 16. That was the first signpost for me on the Buddhist path. It was the only signpost in my life at that time. So I pursued it. Learned. Studied. Meditated. Retreated. Applied it. Still doing all of that. It's been a constant. One I am unbelievably grateful for.
Thanks for posting Nellalou. I was worried I lost you for a second!
I am not familiar with that Watts book but am curious, good title.
When I returned to college in the 90's after a twelve-year hiatus, the first class I took was a world religion class at a community college. The professor for that class was going to leave out Buddhism because, as he said, it isn't a religion. Of course, his definition of religion was based solely on Christianity. If it doesn’t look like Christianity it’s not a religion, and Buddhism doesn’t look like Christianity. I learned later that Columbus wrote to Queen Isabella after landing in the Americas that the native people would be easy to convert to Christianity because they have no religion. This is, of course, wrong. However, Columbus and my professor were looking at other cultures from their point of view--a big problem in studying other cultures. After much complaining on my part, the instructor spent 20 minutes on Buddhism, and I got nothing out of it. Because I wanted to learn more about Buddhism—I had no idea what it actually was—I ended up getting a BA and a Master’s degree in Religious Studies, with an emphasis on Buddhism in America. I even began teaching Buddhism as an academic subject at the University I attended. But then a few years after I finished my studies, I began to meditate. I felt that there must be something to what I’ve been studying. And about three years ago, I came out as a Zen Buddhist. Soto Zen to be specific—I love Dogen.
Here are the responses that have been received via social media. I'd like to offer a big thank you to all that choose to post their comments here instead!
Facebook responses,
Taras P: Suffering
Julien R. F: It is the only religion that makes sense. It's logical.
Liisa PL: there was only one thing in university that spoke to my spirit, and that was when a professor laid out the four noble truths. i was so excited, i called my boyfriend and we talked for hours about this new world of possibility that was opening up for us.
Jennifer P:
In 9th grade I got a taste of foreign cultures and religions in my world studies class. Buddhism immediately caught my attention and I started studying it much to the chagrin of my Lutheran mom. By 12th grade I was going every Sunday to a K...orean Zen temple an hour from home. The members put together a trip to South Korea, including a week's temple stay, for myself and another girl right after school got out. I will eventually be able to pay that forward to another young person discovering Buddhism.
Kitsune N: I doubt anything really led me to Buddhism. My family comes from Buddhist roots but it had long since gone to the wayside. I knew none of the beliefs others were trying to force on me fit who I was & I just left it at that. Eventually I learned more about different perspectives on life & found mine matched many of the Buddhist doctrine. I guess I've had emense respect ever since.
Oma H: i had really got fed up with suffering... and the buddha´s smile was there....
Patrick JM: Having been immersed in Catholic culture as a kid, I became 'interested' in Buddhism in my 20's. But the 'practicing' (which to me meant getting on the cushion) didn't start until I was about 50. I've never looked back.
Lynnivere P: pain
Kim KH: Buddhism found me when I was lucky enough to have a friend who invited me to do this "amazing Zen meditation stuff". I'd never heard of Zen, it being South Africa in the early 90's - but it was an unforgettable experience and I simply fell in love.
Lizaveta M: I started academically studying Hinduism and Sanskrit in college at CU Boulder. Then I took Reggie Ray's "Introduction to Buddhism" and read Chogyam Trungpa's "Cutting Through Spiritual Materialism" ...I could never turn my back on truth after that.
Exuberant I: Mistrust, pain, shame and Tina Turner.
Kat P: The complete loss of what I thought my life was and the process of figuring out what it could be.
C.J. J:
It made sense. My wife and I read up on a few different religions and found the teachings of Buddha made the most sense. Being in the Midwest we knew our daughter would be exposed to Christianity from many sides and since we are not Christi...ans we wanted her to grow up with a choice. Over the years we have learned more about how to practice Buddhism from her (5 years old) than from any other source. The short version, our daughter.
John G: What got me interested in Buddhism was the attraction I had to Buddha statues. Buddha looked so peaceful and I wanted to know how I could get like that. My religion is Christianity, but I am very much interested in learning about Buddhism through books and television because it's something that helps aleviate my suffering in several ways.
Joe H: LSD in college. And I have a strong feeling I'm not the only one. (There, I said it.)
Elizabeth M:
I began to practice the Dharma after finding no way to deal with my sufferings. In addition, I am a more science based person so it made more sense to me. I was also highly attracted to it once I discovered it. Once all these things togethe...r, my teacher appeared! But it still took me 8 years before dedicating myself and taking Refuge.
Can't imagine not having the Dharma in my life. I have been practicing Tibetan Buddhism since 2005.
Jim W: Two things: 1.When trying to get sober, I read "Zen Mind, Beginner's Mind" and it explained all my attachements to those things so destructive in my life. @. Reading the "Tibetan Book of Living And Dying" while me father was dying from Cancer. It was very powerful to read about the different stages and processes and see them transpiring before my eyes. Both very powerful experiences.
Nadine B: Browsing in a bookstore at 15 years old I saw a book with the word "dharma" in the title. I'd never seen or heard the word before, wasn't sure how to pronounce it, but I knew it was important and couldn't stop looking at it. I've learned a lot about why since then ;-)
Tarver A: A notice that lead to believe in myself
Elena R: Reading Jon Kabat-Zinn. Thanks Jon!!
Lynn O: Growing up with parents that went to two different churches and having a ton of questions. The only religion that brings me true peace when I read the teachings.
Roberta C: I was raised Lutheran. When I was 17, I renounced all religions and became an atheist. In 2002, I saw a notice about a Buddhist study group that was forming in Springfield. I had always been curious about Buddhism, so I attended the first meeting. Shortly thereafter, I took refuge and met my teacher, Lama Lodru.
Rod K: I realized that all I thought I knew about Buddhism, I had learned from people with strong biases. So, I attended lectures and ceremonies at a nearby monastery and began studying the books they gave me. I found that 95% or more of what Buddhism teaches is completely in line with what I already believe as a Mormon.
Celeste Y:
I had Christian bible study & church until 9yrs old. Then, I became very interested in the origins of organized religions. I read & researched everything I could find until one day, when I was abt 29/30yrs old, walked into a lil store in Ca...rmel Valley & found (or it found me) "The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying" by Sogyal Rinpoche. A few months later, diagnosed w/stage 3 NHL. The book helped pull me through! Went on to read H.H. Dalai Lama's Path to Enlightenment series. The rest is now & future.
Fred TJ: Claude AnShin Thomas, Zen Buddhist monk and Vietnam combat veteran taught me mindful meditation and I thank him for bringing peace to my life.
Christina R: Mind and heart always bring us home. This was (and is) my path for this life journey.
Nadhia A: I'm not Buddhist. I find some of the articles posted here interesting and helpful. Thank You.
Melissa P: After hearing some disparaging remarks made about Buddhism In my Christian church, I asked a friend that had knowledge of Buddhism to help me understand it. Between what he taught me and what I have read in books and learned on my own it was like a light turning on, it seems like common sense to me now. I’m not sure I would consider myself a Buddhist, but I do try and understand and follow the path.
Joan S: I always was, but I didn't have the word for it. But I will not call myself one.
Amy B: Buddhism, besides being the only religion tk make logical sense is also the only religion that encourages examination and questions, being told to believe in something just because you are told to is not for me! The Buddha said no tk believe just because you are told...from that moment forward I knew
Michele H: I had a health scare & started examining my beliefs - & discovered I didn't know what I believed. Researched a lot of various paths & felt that Buddhism made sense. Found a sangha, learned a lot from my teacher Losang Samten & took refuge. I attend group - & a Christian church with my husband as well. I don't see any problem with it, although I realize some would disagree with me. I can live with that.
freshaura: homosexuality and dogmatic christianity. i thank buddha every day that I found his teachings. I have never been more at peace in my life.
Judith NT: I was working as a DBT Therapist. I read my first book on Buddhism, and said: "Marsha Linehan didn't invent any of this...DBT is all Buddhism!" I was intrigued...and hooked!
Michelle D: Politics and the plight of the Tibetan people. It started as a way to understand beliefs when under such adverse conditions. A nameless Tibetan speaking out on a PBS documentary moved me to tears. That and never finding peace in Christianity.
Kelly L: Yes...Buddhism speaKs to me on so many levels-embraces the mind and body...shows compassion for all sentient beings...it is the middle way...it is the only way for me...it changes my way of thinking...i believe it can change the world...no more war, no more suffering needlesly...pure compassion and peace.
Michelle P: Darren Castello & SGI :)
Amelia G: I had faith with buddhism and reasonly have being a disciple with this Toh Chai Kong Tang. (is more in cantonese and mandarin )( no doubth I English educator and a hockkien ) I Started learning mandarin and cantonese )cos I faith with it and thank to Fatt Chor .Choe SeeYeah ,See Kong and other great enlightenment compassionate for helping bu guiding me thru my life.
Twitter responses,
"sadness and depression"
"a paper trail"
"fried chicken"
"a deep longing and a chance encounter with a Buddhist nun"
The event that led me to the Buddhist path was the sudden suicide of my fiance who I had been with for nine years. Talk about a crash course in the impermanence. After a few weeks of doctors wanting me to try "anti" this and "anti" that, and becoming zombified, I went to a one day workshop on meditation held at the Rochester Zen Center, in Rochester, NY. I approached it thinking I would be "shutting off the mindstream" but not so. Meditation opened everything full throttle, and also gave me the ability to be with the loss, pain, anger, and all those wonderful emotions that we hold so dear. Meditation provided me the space and the cushion to be with all I had been experiencing. But it was not complete. A sangha was sought out and found that is of Tibetan Lineage. I have been practicing with them for three years now, and that has lead me to have a much more peaceful and compassionate live towards others, but also towards myself(whatever that may constitute outside of the five skandhas). Reading, contemplating, and sharing the dharma has made a significant impact on my life, and has put me somewhere where I would not have imagined 10 years ago. It is hard to put into words how Buddhism has changed my life, and to put it out front, had it not been for that fateful day at the Zen Center, I would probably be a zombified entity or dead.
Thank you for sharing mf1165. I'm very sorry to hear about your loss. I'm happy you chose the path of awakening and not one that left you feeling like a zombified in the face of suffering.
I was just reading this interview with Philip Kapleau Roshi, who founded the Rochester Zen Center, and I find it quite interesting. He was a very intelligent and direct man! http://www.tricycle.com/feature/life-capital-l
Yes, sorry for your loss. It was grief that led me to finally embrace and practice Buddhism, which I had been drawn to for a long time.
I've only recently begin to sit, after suffering several losses in the space of a short time.
Meditation allows me to "be" with grief instead of seeking ways to avoid it. To be compassionate with myself instead of falling into the "I should be better" trap. To be truly compassionate with others who grieve or suffer by just being present to them and listening instead of offering empty platitudes.
From early teens I knew there was *something* to Buddhism that just made sense, but never really pursued it. Fast forward to two years ago when my Husband's family was going through a really difficult time (his Mom was dieing from cancer). I wanted/needed something that would help me to help them (and myself). So I logged on to our library's audio book catalog and (truly) fell right into Pema Chodron's Awakening Compassion. Within five minutes of listening I knew I had found that something that I needed. Her teachings helped me find my sanity and my strength and I've been actively studying and practicing ever since..
Thanks for posting pdianne. Pema is incredible.
I've started going to my local library more recently, such wonderful places libraries are.
I was always interested in any news regarding the Dalai Lama so one day I saw a short course given by Lama Surya Das. I just thought it would give me more knowledge of Tibetan Buddhism, and his books that were suggested blew me away. They are Awakening to the Sacred and Awakening the Buddha Within. From there I read two books he suggested by Pemo Chodron, Start where you are and When things fall apart. It was an easy decision from there.
Thanks katiem. Speaking of Surya Das, he will be leading our September Book Club discussion of his new book, "Buddha Standard Time."
hands down .... doing the est training in 1977 .... for me, a direct path to Buddhism
Thanks Penelope. I'm not personally very familiar with est training but from the little I've heard it sounds interesting. I'll read up.
Wow, EST ... haven't gone into that group of memories for a long time. ESToid friends here (Edmonton) were also big on Project Plenty. :-)
In the depths of my struggle with alcohol addiction, alone, having been asked to leave my home, I sat contemplating that there must be a way... as I contemplated this for hours, still caught in my cravings my mind kept going back to the Taoism and Buddhism I'd studied as an undergrad philosophy student.
My first book that led me on the road to both sobriety and Buddhism was "The Tao of Sobriety". Eventually I read "Dharma Punx" and "One Breath at a Time" (as well as many others) and considered myself both committed to sobriety and to the Dharma.
Thanks for sharing kschum. I wish you the best as you continue on the path(s)!
I was looking to simplify my life in general and read Christina Feldman's "The Buddhist Path to Simplicity."
...and your post in brilliant in its simplicity. Thanks shovelbum
On May 7th, 2007 I was in millineum park in Chicago, homeless at the time. Unbeknownst to me
the Dalai Lama was speaking that day so I listened intently and everything he said made perfect
sense to me. I have rigorously been a student of Buddhism since that day and attend meditation
classes at the Shambhala Meditation Center in Rogers Park, IL.. My life has changed drastically,
I am no longer homeless and am in a position to share the Dharma with others who are suffering
as I once was. The Dalai Lama will be in Chicago speaking at the UIC pavilion on July 17th and I
have every intention of being there, I wish I could thank him for opening my mind and heart to the
Dharma!
Amazing.
For me it was Thich Nhat Hanh's "Peace is Every Step" when I was a young mother nearly 25 years ago. I'd met met Kalu Rinpoche, haphazardly, when I first lived in Santa Fe, New Mexico. The teachings were never far from my heart. Then I started reading Pema Chodron who got me through some very rough times. I took refuge in the Kagyu tradition, then branched out to FMPT and Lama Zopa Rinpoche.
Since then I have traveled on my own with retreats with wonderful teachers as Joan Halifax and Sharon Salzburg...so many wonderful teachers and different takes on the Buddha's teachings. Lately...Noah Levine....he has given me a portal into my 16 year old's life and his perspective and his personal experience has helped me tremendously with being present with my teenagers life.
Gate gate paragate parasamgate bodhi svaha!
Thanks for posting Mary. I've always been fascinated with Kalu Rinpoche, I've studied with a few of his students and have heard many great things about him.
I just finished Noah Levine's new book, which was our last book club selection. That's great that his work has served as a bridge for you and your 16 year old.
My partner is Thai and one day he took me to a Thai Buddhist temple near where we live. There were several monks. All were Thai and spoke limited English except for one 'white guy.' The white monk spotted me and immediately took compassion on me, sensing my discomfort in an unfamiliar setting amongst so many Thai people. He gently asked me to come over and talk to him. He told me a little about himself and why he became a monk. I told him I was here with my partner (same sex), and he told me he is also gay. He told me this in a very down-to-earth way--not secretively, and certainly not flirtatiously. I realized this must be a religion that is very accepting and non-judgmental. Although the same can be said of Christianity and Judaism, it is only the liberal branches of these religions that are welcoming. I don't think the same is true of Buddhism as a whole. I started returning to the monastery on my own and practicing meditation. This monk recommended that I read 'What the Buddha Taught' and 'Old Path White Clouds.' I enjoyed these books, and I still keep 'What the Buddha Taught' by my bedside as a reference. Studying the Dhamma has given me a healthier perspective on life, and helped me feel more at peace. I still have a long way to go, but I'm very glad I discovered Buddhism.
Wonderful story chinan00. Thank you for sharing.
Two years into being a stay-at-home Dad, I realized it was the hardest job I'd ever had, and probably would ever have again. Feelings of anger, frustration, impatience, powerlessness -- until I realized that this was not the way I wanted to live my life. I've always believed that I could choose whatever I wanted to do in life, and it was painfully clear how I needed to use that perspective on the most fundamental aspects of myself. A weekend in Zen and a 10-day course in Vipassana helped me to begin. That was 3 years ago and I'm happier now than ever before.
Thanks chasingmoose. Much respect to all the stay-at-home Dads!
Joko Beck once said that having a baby was the best teacher.
Christianity never made much sense to me growing up. It dawned on me one day however, cutting through the religious clutter, that the whole point is to imitate Christ. But how does one do that? By stepping out of self delusion - but Christianity was not clear (at least for me) on how to go about this. Buddhism had the answers - the "how-to" that made sense to me. I have practiced vipassana for more than 20 years, and now that I have children, I have revisited Christianity. It's been fascinating: without Buddhism and meditation, I would never have been able to really see the point of Christianity. Now, it is clear. My kids are raised to think of Buddha and Christ as brothers. I feel fortunate to have the strengths and compassion of both in my spiritual life.
That's beautiful leapyfrog, and indeed, the "how to" element is important
Thanks for posting this. I was raised (and remain) Catholic, and I find that the more I learn about Buddhism the more I see convergence rather than discrepancy. Certainly Christianity in general is aspirational, and I think Christianity is largely a narrative and Buddhism is a description of the human experience and path. I've found fewer instructions in that narrative than I would have liked, and this has helped in answering the question of "how does one do that?" Dabbling I suppose can be dangerous and can tempt someone to treat spirituality as a buffet from which they can take what they like and leave the rest, but yours is a wonderful notion: "without Buddhism and meditation, I would never have been able to really see the point of Christianity."
I really like your teaching to your children of Buddha and Christ as brothers. Will have to put that in my back pocket for when I have children. Thanks for sharing. :)
I'm a Christian who has struggled for ages with anger, stuck in a cycle of outburst/remorse/forgiveness. Recently my anger led to us being involved in a frightening car accident. While the police and insurance determined that the other party caused the accident, I knew in my heart that I could have avoided it had I not been angry. Searching around for a study to address my anger, I read "The Cow in the Parking Lot," by Scheff and Edmiston. This book had an immediate impact on my view of myself, my place in this world, and the nature of my suffering - I suppose this will be anathema to some here, but I was amazed that this seemed to compliment my Christianity rather than contradict it - in some ways it seems more Christian, the focus on compassion, lovingkindness, and mindfulness, rather than sin and retribution. I've begun meditating and am still exploring Buddhism and Zen, but the changes in our entire household in the months since our accident are amazing -
Thanks ToonForever. Practice has helped me a lot with working with anger as well.
Two pivotal events. Meeting the Dalai Lama in 1997 in a very small and intimate gathering I had the good fortune to attend and three years later being present at the death of my beloved father and feeling such an honor to be part of that process as he passed from this world to another. Both events led me to all the reading I could digest and an almost immediate retreat to Karme Choling in Vermont.
Thanks mvineyid129. Karme Choling is one of my favorite places in the world.