with Allan Lokos
During the month of February we'll be reading Allan Lokos's Patience: The Art of Peaceful Living at the Tricycle Book Club. Pick up a copy at Indiebound, Barnes & Noble, or Amazon and join the discussion below.
Listen to an audio interview with Lokos about this book here.
During the month of February we will have an opportunity to examine the nature of patience and learn skillful ways to develop a greater depth of this elusive virtuous quality. You will likely find that it takes patience to develop patience, but you will also find that with honest motivation, compassion, and determination, you can become a more patient person.
What is meant by “honest motivation?” It means that we take the time to ask ourselves why we want to become a more patient person. Do this for five minutes a day for a week. Don’t impose reasons on yourself because they seem right or because others think you should be more patient. Examine your personal experience. Reflect on your relationships, both personal and professional. How does your impatience affect your happiness and that of your wife/husband/partner/children/friends? Would it be worth the effort to become more patient? Just ask the question; let the answers come when they come. I advise taking this step seriously so that you become truly motivated. You will need it if the road gets bumpy; you will need it to help you get up when you slip.
Patience is not an item, product, or object; a “thing” that we have in greater or lesser supply. We therefore cannot lose patience. Undoing this misperception is important if we are to see things as they really, which is the ground of wisdom. Impatience is a feeling that arises when particular conditions come together in a specific moment. Contingent factors bring about impatience. In those moments we experience more impatience than patience. Impatience and patience are feelings and we experience the arising and passing away of feelings all the time. It is the nature of the mind/body phenomenon. When we understand that feelings are arising and feelings are not reality, we can relax a bit. We see that we don’t have to react to every feeling that arises; in fact that would be an exhausting way to live.
Using my new book, Patience: The Art of Peaceful Living, as a guide, we will look at how to develop greater patience with self (with a look at no-self); in relationships, including our most intimate; with our children, and in the workplace. Lastly, we will explore patience as it relates to our inner peace and sustainable happiness. I look forward to our journey together.
Allan Lokos is the founder and guiding teacher of the Community Meditation Center in New York City.