Buddhist Pet Funerals May 18, 2010
Posted by James Shaheen in : General , trackback
My last pet was an orange tabby that died at the age of nearly 20. A friend, who had been caring for him, insisted we gather with a few others who’d been fond of the cat to scatter its ashes in Central Park. I felt a little silly but I was truly sad to lose my feline friend—especially since he was the last vestige of a relationship that had ended sadly. We trudged out in the snow late in the evening (we were pretty sure we were violating some city ordinance) and scattered his remains in fistfuls as if we were seeding a lawn. So I can’t really snicker when Quirky Japan Blog points us to an article in AsiaOne News about the growing popularity of Buddhist pet funerals in Japan (ours was pretty secular). QJB writes:
I hear the word “pettoro-su” (pet loss) surprisingly often these days, and it seems a lot of funeral parlors and graveyards are springing up to help bereaved owners put their loved ones to rest. One of the biggest companies is called Petto Ceremoni-Makoto (Sincere Pet Ceremonies), and it offers a wide range of pet funerals and cremations.
So next time you suffer from pet loss, you have options. It’ll set you back a sincere 400 bucks or so, not counting airfare, but if your dog has Buddhanature (I don’t think there’s a test for this), it will have been money well spent.
For more Buddhist takes on pet loss and euthanasia, here are some perennial pearls of wisdom that appeared in Tricycle some time ago. (The article was originally titled, “Putting Spot Down,” but now appears under the more civil “To Kill or Not to Kill”).
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[...] Tricycle » Buddhist Pet Funerals http://www.tricycle.com/blog/?p=1772 – view page – cached My last pet was an orange tabby that died at the age of nearly 20. A friend, who had been caring for him, insisted we gather with a few of our friends who’d been fond of the cat to scatter its ashes in Central Park. I felt a little silly but I was truly sad to lose my feline friend—especially since he was the last vestige of a relationship that had ended sadly. We trudged out in the snow late… Read moreMy last pet was an orange tabby that died at the age of nearly 20. A friend, who had been caring for him, insisted we gather with a few of our friends who’d been fond of the cat to scatter its ashes in Central Park. I felt a little silly but I was truly sad to lose my feline friend—especially since he was the last vestige of a relationship that had ended sadly. We trudged out in the snow late in the evening (we were pretty sure we were violating some city ordinance) and scattered his remains in fistfuls as if we were seeding a lawn. So I can’t really snicker when Quirky Japan Blog points us to an article in AsiaOne News about the growing popularity of Buddhist pet funerals in Japan (ours was pretty secular). QJB writes: View page Tweets about this link Topsy.Data.Twitter.User['tricyclemag'] = {”photo”:”http://a1.twimg.com/profile_images/314841142/big_t_normal.jpg”,”url”:”http://twitter.com/tricyclemag”,”nick”:”tricyclemag”}; tricyclemagHighly Influential: “Buddhist pet funerals? http://bit.ly/cqyTYT ” 12 minutes ago view tweet retweet Filter tweets [...]
What a remarkably pointless and dismissive article.
Did your “last pet” have a name? You described him or her as you would a favorite vase that broke. I say “him or her” because you inexplicably referred to this being, with whom you spent most of 20 years, as an “it”, so I have no idea which to choose.
Indeed, if there were a test for Buddhanature you, Mr. Shaheen, might likely fail it, based on this article. All the dogs, cats and other nonhuman animals I have ever known would have no trouble passing such a test.
Perhaps Tricycle could manage an article about sincerely honoring the lives and deaths of our loved ones who are other than (better than) human.
Danielle:
MU.
Or, in other words, there may not be a litmus test for Buddhanature, but all of us can practice more compassion and understanding, even for writers of articles like Mr. Shaheen. No doubt you have had very strong and good relationships with your pets, and a lot of us can understand this relationship. I have a dog that chewed my cell phone yesterday, that I love. I don’t love him like a person, but I love him and believe he knows more about some things than I do.
Part of Buddhanature might be to be less judgmental or article writers, and more understanding or different perspectives. I’m glad Mr. Shaheen wrote this article as it raised the issue well, and gave you a platform to comment. Metta to him, and Metta to you.
You are very kind Michael.Some people just look for the negative. In doing this overlooking the positives…generally this makes for a very unhappy person….by the way Danielle the 20 year old beloved orange tabby was a male.
My cat was a male (eg, “A friend, who had been caring for him…” and “he was the last vestige…”). Once he died, however, he became an it. He will remain anonymous–he was finicky and protected his privacy.
I loved that cat especially because he and I shared a sense of humor. He was a little heavy toward the end but was otherwise well cared for. Eventually, he even moved into a doorman building.
Just to tell you the most important:
I had a dog, she was nearly 17 years old and I did euthanasia. She had a very bad kidney disease and I did everything to make her recover but she didn’t. She didn’t eat during one week and in the end she was as light as a feather. At that time my mother who was then also very ill, took care of her because I had to go to work. In the morning I had to drive 45 minutes to reach my mother’s home. My dog couldn’t hardly stand upright and I wanted to save her this burden.
Her death was three month ago and until now I cannot cope with what I have done. She trusted me I thought and I decided the time of her death. Everyone said to me that it was right what I had done but I didn’t think so. Now reading your article I know that probably it wasn’t right. I don’t know any other Buddhists nearby and so I couldn’t speak with anyone following the same path.
To take off for one week or so and stay with my dog, that would have been the right way I think now, but it is too late…
I cremated her and I will scatter her ashes in the four winds as soon as I have found the right and beautiful place to do so. I hope that I also will regain my inner peace then…
Renee,
Mostly, as a fellow practitioner, I’d encourage you to show more compassion for yourself. Many of us have made the same decision you have with the best of intentions. I don’t think anyone can judge and maybe you don’t have to, either.
Much metta,
James
Thank you so much for your words, dear James!
Renee:
It sounds as though you did all you could, and more, to give your dog a wonderful life, and in the end, you made what seems to me a very appropriate decision. If you dog was not eating, lost weight, and could not stand, it really must have been time for your dog to exit her life of pain. What you did was likely the most compassionate act possible; you were also mindful of your Mother’s status in this decision, too.
Be aware that you gave your dog love and a good life, and this you can celebrate. I sense that you’re a very good and compassionate person. Lovingkindness starts with ourselves…you have done well, and your dog was fortunate to have you in her life. No regrets. Celebrate the good.
Dear Michael,
thank you so much for your helpful words! I’m a bit lost because I don’t know what is right and it is so hard to go to the vet and make such a decision. I really loved my dog and I always cared for her. I wasn’t perfect but I did all I could do. Thank you again! You help me to get out of my grief!
Renée
Renee, perhaps the energy that you were using to properly grieve you can no direct toward doing small loving things each day to help a dog, or cat, or person in your life, and this way, every day, you will honor your dog and keep her in your life each day with these small compassionate acts. No loved being ever dies; change, of course, comes to all of us.
As others have said better than I ever could, you don’t need to search for peace, perfection, or Buddhanature…it’s inside you already, and I certainly feel this as I read your letters.
I hope you are part of a Sangha near you, or perhaps will be…you would bring so much light to any local group you might find.
Metta.
Mike
Dear Michael, thank you again so much! Your words are an enormous support. It is a wonderful idea to use my grief to help others and so honour my dog.
I will take your words with me and recall them all the time I feel sadness inside of me.
I live near Luxembourg and unfortunately you cannot find a real master or a monastery here but I am very lucky that also here you have the possibiliy to listen to the teachings of Ajahn Sumedho who really changed my life. He is my master and my sangha…
You are much light for me, dear Michael and you are a wonderful person - you give your time and help to a stranger that is in despair about the death of her dog!
I hope you can feel my gratitude!
I wish you all the best!
Renée
Renee, and I wish you the best. I am grateful to have met you!
May both of us, and James Shaheen, and everyone touched by the Tricycle Sangha, be well, happy and peaceful !
Michael